Home
by QuietNightingale
Summary: In this cruel and beautiful world, we keep on asking ourselves why it was we who survived. What will we protect with our strength and weaknesses if reason and logic is right no longer. A series of one-shots following the course of Eren and Mikasa's life together. Canon Universe and AU. Mostly AU. Ratings vary.
1. Home

T/N: After reading The Hunger Games: Mockingjay and listening to T-Swift's ft. The Civil Wars' "Safe and Sound" I couldn't control the feels anymore. I wrote this. Haha! Enjoy reading! ;) English ain't mah first language ya'll so tell me if there are any errors! xD

* * *

><p>I was too late when I realized that it ended. But it has.<p>

The war has been victory for us. Tortured screams gone. Battle cries echo away. The enemy dead. All that's left is the aftermath of one great battle. All that's left is the silent whisper of the wind. All that's left is the vacant stares looking at nonexistent space.

I think we all have realized it a little bit too late. That reality has struck us days and days after the war. We've been so focused at it for years that we were too absorbed in the sanity of events. Some of us still get the nightmares, only to wake up screaming or thrashing or crying. Some of us don't sleep. And some of us don't really eat.

I don't why it has ended up like this, really. A few years before in my fickle imagination I have thought of victory cries at the end of the decisive battle. But in reality it was all too silent. Maybe because too many lives, far too many than the battles before, have been lost. Out of hundreds of us only around fifty have survived. I don't know how I've made it through all that. I don't know how some of my comrades survived it. Because the enemy was strong. Because the enemy was driven with bloodlust and we were almost powerless.

Sometimes I get the nightmares as well. I hear cries of help from my comrades. I hear screams. I see gigantic hands and faces ready to take my life. The worst ones I wake up screaming to as well, but then Eren would come bursting in from the door, green eyes wide and concerned, and I would hurriedly get out of bed and run to him and bring him tightly close to me. He's taller than me now because when I lay my head on his chest I could hear the sound of his heartbeat. It beats slow and steady. Sometimes it's the only thing keeping me to reality. And maybe his voice and his eyes and his arms too.

He'd whisper to me that it's only a dream, and that everything will be okay. And I would believe him. I would believe that everything will be okay, because after all he's here and the war's over and I'm safe because he'd promised to protect me. He'd take my hand and lead me back to bed then, and he would stroke my hair and I would fall asleep to his breathing and the nightmares would be gone. One night after another nightmare when I woke up and he came through the door, I asked him if he could stay beside me even after I fall asleep. He said that he will. Always. That's when we started to share the same bed. And surprisingly, at rare occasions, he would wake up crying and it's my turn to reassure him. We never ask each other what our nightmares were about, because bringing it up would break us again. But then, I've never experienced him waking up screaming or thrashing. Just crying. And sometimes he'd whisper to me while crying to not leave him, because I'm the only one that's left. And I think I guessed what he dreams about.

In mornings when I would take strolls, I'd see Armin reading a book under the tree. When I would come up to talk to him, he would look up, but he'd never speak. He never speaks to anyone even though they never found any damage to his vocal chords. It could be because of the trauma, we never really know. Sometimes he'd acknowledge what I say to him by moving his head or making expressions, and we would enjoy each other's company for a while until I leave and he continues reading. He and Eren have never talked to each other ever since before the war, and I would never talk to either of them about it since the topic's too fragile to break.

It's months after that everything starts going back to normal. People have eventually started to bring their life back together piece by piece. The citizens who have stayed inside the walls were eventually told to come out despite the doubts they hold. We still use the gear to keep order and manage any situations that come about. There would be times when the Scouting Legion would be praised, and sometimes Eren would get it a little too much and someone had put a title on him that people started calling him. The saviour. It never changed.

In days when everything was calm and quiet I'd sit with Armin under the tree in comfortable silence. While looking at the canvas ahead I would start to hum melodies, and eventually words form and I would start singing a short song.

_Under the fig tree_

_Would you lay with me_

_Watch the meadow dance_

_With the purple daisies_

_Love, I will be here_

_So don't you dare fear_

_Close your eyes_

_Soon the sun will rise_

_I will be here, love_

_I will bring you warmth_

_I will be here, love_

_I will always be home_

Sometimes I'd sing it over and over again. Armin would just continue reading with a small smile forming on his lips. One day when I was just done singing the last line, Eren's voice spoke from behind me saying the song was beautiful. I guess Armin knew he was around because his eyes never left the book. After that day Eren started appearing every single time I'd come to the tree to listen to me sing, and eventually Armin started to loosen up around him but still not speaking. Being just the three of us on the meadow brings back memories of being together when we were kids, although we aren't those kids anymore. We're older now. Maybe more independent. More responsible. More mature. I've lost sense of counting ages through the years, but I think we may be around twenty.

After the operation of leading the people outside the walls, in due course the three of us started to move on. Armin started to write a book. Eren started making plans to see the ocean, while I just stayed beside him. Our days on the meadow gradually started to get shorter and shorter, but I still sang the song to Eren to let him sleep. I think the nightmares stopped there.

I admittedly didn't know that this day would come. I had always feared that we will have all died on the battlefield with no chances of victory. But my expectations have been outdone. It's better this way. Better that I lived longer. I had so many opportunities of dying. Many times. But there would always be someone to save me from death, and I always quietly thank every person who had been willing to lose their lives to others, and it's a sacrifice never wasted.

Eren and I eventually visited the ocean. I was in awe of the beautiful view that I hadn't noticed Eren calling me from the water's edge, smiling and laughing. I've never seen him so happy. With all my strength I ran to him and I was surprised to find my voice laughing too. With his arms outstretched at the last second he brought me up and spun me around, and when he brought me down I noticed tears streaming down from his eyes, and it wasn't till I noticed that I was crying as well when he brushed a stray tear on my cheek. He told me he has never been so happy in his entire life, and then he asked me if it will be alright if I could stay with him until we die. There was no doubt in my answer. I answered yes.

She splashes water at Eren with her tiny hands, the happiness in her eyes never faltering. She's the exact combination of us, with my dark hair and his green eyes. At first I was nervous when the doctor confirmed that I was carrying a child, but when I thought that our daughter would be our pride and joy I wasn't scared anymore. When she was born Eren asked me what we should name her, and after I asked if it was alright we named her Carla. As a baby when she would cry, I'd sing her my song and she'll fall asleep immediately. I guess it keeps her safe. Eren and I eventually contributed our own lessons to teach her about the basics. Learning the alphabet, reading, writing, and we would tell her our own stories of how there were monsters and the knights would win. Soon she would learn our stories about the battles. But Eren tells me it will be okay, that we will understand and explain when she would have questions that want to be answered. And maybe someday we will give her Armin's book about the whole story of what happened when the titans came in. She deserves to know because she lives in this world. Everyone has to know the histories of the past.

_Under the fig tree_

_Would you lay with me_

_Watch the meadow dance_

_With the purple daisies_

_Love, I will be here_

_So don't you dare fear_

_Close your eyes_

_Soon the sun will rise_

_I will be here, love_

_I will bring you warmth_

_I will be here, love_

_I will always be home_

I have a home. And it's in Eren's eyes, in his voice, in his arms. It's in Carla's tiny hands, in her laugh, in the way she would wake Eren and I in the morning because she wants to see the sunrise. It's better this way. To be happy in a cruel and beautiful world. And as Eren wraps around his scarf around me, I know that I am safe. And with them, I am home.

* * *

><p>TN: Waha I think that was a little cheesy on their first time on the beach part LOL. And I can't believe I actually finished a fanfic in a day! HAHAHA! Anyways! Thanks for reading! Fav and review! Whatever you want! ^_^


	2. With Wings

Summary: Modern AU. She didn't ask for his help, but he saves her one rainy night when she's about to jump off a bridge and he helps her start back her life all over again. (A take on how much Eren can affect Mikasa's life.)

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Finally managed to write another fanfic. I originally planned to make this multi-chaptered but I don't really know. My EreMika feels will never get out of my veins I swear I almost cry over them every day lol.

WARNING: Angst trigger. Suicidal thoughts. (Emotions can be scary)

* * *

><p>Life is hard.<p>

It was a common sentence mentioned in this world, and a lot of people would never be uncertain with that declaration. It was such a short statement yet it made so much sense, and every time someone said it there would be a hint implied on how much hardships a person has to go through. It's true, life is hard. And even though the world was nothing but a tiny speck in the universe it weighed heavy on people's minds. When a person has been through so much the possibility of his ignorance of the rest of the world passes through like a hard blow, and human beings are capable of feeling these emotions yet they only mind their own problems.

Life is hard.

It was an understatement for Mikasa Ackerman. For her, life was dark and dull, and it was an underestimated existence for she was sure that she had had. She only figured that out the moment she realized that the world was merciless, that her ignorance of the cruelty she had experienced wasn't just a misconception. It pushed her down to her limits. She constantly battled with the pain being thrown at her face but it was no use, it overcame her. It overcame her until she was finally brought down to her knees.

She lost her family again.

Her eyes were dull as she walked through the rainy night in the city. There was nothing to cover her and she just let the rain pour down on her as if mocking it to strike her more but she didn't care. She figured she could let it try to wash away the pain but it didn't. Of course it didn't. Nothing could save her from the pain. She was alone. Cold and alone. She has no home to return to anymore.

She has no reason to live anymore.

That realization made her stop in her tracks. She has no reason to live anymore, so why was she still here? She couldn't even cry anymore, couldn't speak, couldn't scream. It was cold. She hated the cold. It reminded her of her loneliness and the numbness of the feeling inside her.

She supposed she should end it all. End all the pain and the numbness. There was no use keeping it all to herself.

Then she saw it.

She didn't know how far she's walked from the hospital, but here she was standing in front of a bridge with the ocean below.

She stared at the scene in front of her. The opportunity has represented itself right when she needed it. She supposed death was ready to take her too.

With sluggish breaths and dismal eyes she slowly walked over to the edge of the bridge, her feet leading her without her commanding it to. The rain has poured down harder now, and her hair stuck to her face and her clothes were damp and she felt herself shivering amidst the atmosphere but she paid it no heed.

Her feet stopped at the railing in front of her. It reached up to her waist but she figured it was easy to climb. She slowly bent over to look at the water below. It was a long way down but she didn't feel fear, only relief that once she reaches the bottom everything would end. She didn't think about it twice, she was ready to die, ready to vanish from the cruel world.

No one would miss me anyway, she thought.

She assumed her body would be found days from now. Probably from a passing boat floating to whatever business it had in the ocean. She wondered how her body would be rid of, buried deep in the ground with the soil around her and forgotten after a few years. She pondered if her soul would stay stuck wandering in the world with nowhere left to go, but what difference does it make? She will be gone either way.

She presses her palms on top of the railing and lifts her leg and slides it over the metal.

Thinking further she thinks of how the water would engulf her, drowning her, agonizingly taking the life and breath out of her lungs. It was dark down there, no light to illuminate the black abyss, and she figured it was what she deserved and maybe, what she also wanted.

Her other leg was halfway over the railing when she hears it.

"Are you going to jump?"

It was a quiet sound within the noise of the rain, and the voice was, somehow, devoid of emotion.

She turns around and the first thing she saw was green.

She hadn't noticed it before, but a light passes through them. There was a lighthouse a distance away from where she and the stranger stood, and when it shone on the stranger's face her eyes were fixated on his, emerald eyes flashing amidst the darkness around them. It was a man, and his face was blank, just looking straight at her. He was holding a black umbrella, and there was a red scarf around his neck.

She notices her leg was paused pass halfway the railing and she gently presses her feet down on the ground but not bothering to bring back the other leg.

"What does it have to do with you?"

Her voice is colder than what she had expected it to be. She looks away from him, staring at her knuckles and noticing it was gripping the rails tighter than before. Why was-

"Are you just going to end your life like that?" the man says.

She looks at him again. Why was he talking to her even though he has no idea who she was? Why was this man asking her questions when she's got nothing to do with him? The stranger's face was still blank. She can't see what he's thinking, but then she blankly says, "I have no reason to live anymore."

Silence ensues between them. How can this man understand what she was thinking? It was impossible for anyone to understand when they only think of themselves. That's right. That was the harsh truth of this world. That people pretend they care when they really don't, and they silently feel relief when problems weigh down heavy on another person.

The silence continues, and just when she thinks the man had already left she hears footsteps gradually getting closer to her. She's surprised when he goes to stand beside her, not too close. But she notices him slightly slanting the umbrella to her, shielding her from the rain. Her surprised eyes fall to his face, and he stares at the distance past the ocean, eyes clouded with something she couldn't make out.

"Do you think your parents would allow you to do this?"

Her eyes widen in shock, and she sinks this all in. How-

"How did you know?" her voice was laced with something close to suspicion, but she anticipates his next response.

"_I have no reason to live anymore,_" he repeats her words. "Those are the exact same words someone says when they lose someone important." he looks over to her. "Am I right?"

She doesn't speak, her lips parted in sudden surprise, she looks into his eyes for a second too long and she turns her head away to the side.

She thought he was done speaking, but then she hears his voice again.

"Why do you think a butterfly struggles to escape a spider's web when it knows its life is about to end?"

She finds herself pondering over the meaning of this question, and then says, "Because it wants to live."

He hums in approval of her answer. His voice is husky and somewhat soft, and… reassuring?

"But," she continues, turning to face him again. "I have no home anymore."

He looks away from her, this time looking down on the ocean.

"A butterfly lives in solitude, yet it doesn't give up on its life. It's alone, yet it flutters freely. It continues to explore the world where it lives." he says, rather in realization.

She thinks about this for a while. She's never noticed this before, the relentless will to live of the nature around her. But it still doesn't make sense.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" she asks him in confusion.

He turns to her. "You can't end your life when you're given plenty of chances to live," he tells her. "There are a lot of sick people in this world, and those people never wanted their life to be ruined. Accidents occur every day, and sometimes it comes so suddenly that people are gone the moment they realize it's all over. Do you think those people wanted to die? Do you think it was their choice?"

He says these words not with anger, but with slight interrogation, as if he's asking her if she's really sure she wants to die, if she's really willing to accept death with open arms.

She doesn't answer him, and she's surprised when he slightly brings the handle of the umbrella closer to her, asking her to hold it. She hesitantly takes it, and his hands travel to the material around his neck, taking it off with ease. She almost backs away when he steps closer to her, wrapping the scarf around her neck messily while he says, "I don't know how much you've been through, but I'm going to teach you how to live again. If I can't achieve that then at least I've tried." he swings the end of the muffler over her head. "You can't let life conquer you. You have to be the one who conquers it. Lose, and you die. Fight, and you live."

She doesn't know when it happened, but she feels tears in her eyes and a sore on her throat.

"It's warm, isn't it?"

Her hands reach to the material around her neck. "It's warm."

She doesn't notice his hand on her wrist. "Come on; let's get you out of this rain. You'll get sick."

"Wh-where are you taking me?" she asks in confusion.

He turns to her briefly. "You said you have no home anymore, so I'll take you to mine. Well, it's not really a home since I only live in an apartment, but, no place better."

That was when the rain stopped.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: It's kind of short (for my standards) but it was necessary to get it out of my system. Do tell me what you think of it and review. I'd love to hear your thoughts. J

P.S. It's kinda hard to imagine a real life Eren so I decided to search for a real life model. I imagine Katya Lischina as Mikasa because the resemblance is pretty close. I still haven't found anyone who resembles Eren though. I swear, out of all the millions of people in the world there should be at least one. Wish I could see him lol. Everytime I try to imagine real life Eren I swear I could see those green eyes flash. Every. Time.

P.S.S. I got the title from the song With Wings by Amy Stroup. This fanfic is also slightly inspired by that song. I was listening to it while writing this.


End file.
